WWABD? ---What Would Archie Bunker Do?

I would never have learned the word "whitewash" had it not been for Mark Twain. I find it interesting that now I actually have a reason to use this word to describe another one of his novels. Huckleberry Finn, arguably, one of the most influential books of American history is in the process of being whitewashed in the most horrific ways. Dr. Alan Gribben working to republish this book while removing the word "nigger" and "injun" and to replace them with much more PC words like "slave" and "Indian". He claims that "merely making a small change so that English teachers are no longer embarrassed to read out loud in class".

"A small change"..... again, to make sure it sinks in... "a small change". This is like saying the economy has hit a "small speed bump", or the War on Terror is a "small expense", or that losing my virginity to a trucker named Bubba at a truck stop was a "small lapse in judgment". There are quite a few reasons this is equal to desecrating the fabric of our country.

I will start with the fact that it is impossible to learn from history, when you do not teach history. As a country we have, and are still in the process, of making HUGE mistakes. The good that comes out of these mistakes is that we study them, we review where things went wrong and we respond by avoiding making the same mistakes and educating our children on how to not make the same mistakes. Huck Finn would not be the literary piece it is if the language had been toned down. It goes down in history as a Great American Novel because it packed such a huge punch. The language was indicative of the time and the story that was being told. It was published in 1885, a time when this word was VERY prevalent. Reading it in 2011, there is quite a severe reaction to the language used.... THAT IS THE POINT!!!! We should be proud that we cringe reading those words out loud in a classroom. That "cringe" is the feeling of growth as a nation. We have come a long way, not nearly far enough, past the times of slavery, but is not a reason to forget a significant era in American History. Our children should continue learning about this history so they will be inspired to continue the changes that are too slow to happen. You can tell your kids "the stove is hot, don't touch it" but they generally learn this lesson by experiencing the feeling of "HOLY HELL THAT IS HOT". The same concept applies here. They need a chance to experience the feeling they get by learning our history so they can continue the work of the ones that have given their lives to making a change.

Next, I do not see how anyone can make such significant changes to a novel and still have the nerve to publish it with the same authors name on it. Taking the n-word out of Huck Finn is about the same to me as putting the Zombies in Pride and Prejudice. At least they had the sense to not publish under Jane Austen's name. Making these changes will make the story a watered down tale that Mark Twain would not have been a part of.

I wonder if they have thought about what this means for Literature as a whole. Should we make sure that the autobiography of Malcom X gets re-written? Gone with the Wind? To Kill A Mockingbird? Of Mice and Men? Lord of the Flies? This is just off the top of my head, I am sure the list could go on and on.

We are ok with our kids watching South Park, Jersey Shore, Bad Girls, 16 and pregnant, Family Guy, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, The Real Housewives of whatever crappy city you choose to be in, but we have a problem when they want to pick up a classic book that will expose them to language used in a context that will open them up to having a conversation about things that have been done wrong in the past and letting them talk about ways things could be done in the future.

It seems we should have learned our lesson by now, that closing our eyes and pretending that problems are not there is exactly what is wrong with the world. By choosing to covering up history because we are embarrassed and don't want to face it, we are doing more damage than good. Books like this, that hit on the core issues of the time they are written have more to teach kids than it has to damage them.

It is the ignorant that glorify our past because they don't know better. Deciding to whitewash classic literature is a decision to raise every generation that comes behind us as ignorant.

- Thanks Toni for pissing me off enough to write this-