You Look Like Little Birds Helped You Get Dressed

You may have noticed an absence here lately, and that would be because I have fallen madly in love with a trucker named Bubba I have recently been sucked into a black hole of suckage. I know, I know, you look at my life and say "hey, your life kicks a**, you got 432 multi-color, super bendy straws for you birthday which guarantees that you can use one straw a day and your friend Vodka will be delivered to your liver in the most funky way for the next 1.18 years (unless I decide to share with a guest, which is unlikely because in order to earn the right to one of my bendy straws you pretty much need to give me a midget that is comfortable living in a closet when he is not conducting dance parties and making tasty beverages to go with my bendy straws)".

Anyway, back to the suckage. There has been a whole lot of suckage going on lately, but today I woke up with a new outlook. I decided that I am not going to let the ill mannered boss, or the constant sewage smell at work, or the fact that Richard Simmons is stalking me bring me down anymore. I have tried everything lately. My tiara only offers moments of relief and, on average, I am having to do a 10 second dance party every 1/2 hour, which means last week at work I danced it out for a total of 800 seconds. I try really hard to hide my dancing secret at work, but lately I am running to my office, closing the door and coming out in 10 seconds with sweat on my face. People are starting to talk. Time has come, for me to get serious.


There is a well known fact, to people that know it, that Socks are a great coping skill. I only wear Mary Janes to work, so I have a good view of my socks everyday. Normally I am conservative with my neutral colored stripes that match my outfit, but on days when I need to perk up or when I have a meeting I do not want to be a part of or when I need to divert my inner rage, I will act out. Today I am wearing my rainbow socks, which I have already been told this morning do not match what I am wearing, which I find to be the most ridiculous thing since these socks have every color on them and I know for a fact my sweater matches AT LEAST one of these colors.

Just when I think i am alone in all my behavioral techniques, I get to work and start playing Scrabble doing really important work things, when I look down at my work friends' shoes and notice he is wearing these. I think it is his subtlety that makes us friends.