RULES: *Brought to you by THE MAN

It is not a secret that I kinda sorta like my job a little bit. Here are a list of policies that get in my way of actually LOVING my job.

1. You are prohibited to have Margarita lunch hours (even if it is Margarita Monday)
2. You must complete all paperwork on time and neatly (and writing F' You on all papers is not considered complete no matter how neat it is)
3. You must work 8 hours a day (in a row)
4. You must wake up before the sun to get here on time
5. You must be here 5 days a week (even though there aer only 7 days in the whole week)
6. You must be nice to people (this includes having to hold the elevator door for people)
7. You must talk to clients and listen to them (even if all they want to do is whine)
8. You are responsible for decorating your own office. (If I could do that I would be an interior decorator, instead I now work in cold white cell with nothing on the walls)
9. You will be fired for doing keg stands in your office
10. You can not put a couch and TV in your office
11. You can have a computer, but we will be blocking any website worth going too.
12. Any activity involving spreading oil in the hallway is strictly prohibited.
13. You can not steal a clients motorized wheelchair for joy riding (Even if you do have to walk 2 WHOLE BLOCKS for lunch.)
14. You must wear the most uncomfortable clothing to work (even though you get spit on by clients all day)
15. Your lunch break is not 7.5 hours long
16. We will not tolerate making pot brownies for the staff.
17. You may NOT, under any circumstances, use a taser on clients or other staff.
18. Crossword puzzles are not a productive use of time.
19. You will not require staff to stop in every hour to tell you how pretty you are.

If only my job cared about my happiness, maybe I would like being here more.