Last week was Kid week on Jeopardy. My favorite week! I am able to lay the smack down on those snotty little know-it-alls. This week I find myself back to the grind of sitting on the couch at 7:30 watching 3, socially awkward contestants fight over who knows more about 750BC or the government of Djibouti. As I sit here, feeling like less of a person because after 31 years, I still do not know what the damn Potpourri category is about, I am left only to wonder about the mini interviews Alex does after the first commercial break.
These people have 1.5 minutes to tell the world who they are. This is their big chance to make their friends and family proud and to make themselves look like they might not be the nerdy, socially awkward person we all know they are. I find it hard to believe that EVERY SINGLE PERSON that goes on Jeopardy freely gives the dumbest story they can think of, so I am left to think that they are given a formula they, no doubt, HAVE to follow. After much Vodka research, I think I have cracked the code.
+
story from at least 10 years ago (since all the recent years are only stories about how you have sold your soul and no one find that funny)
+
from a time in your life that you felt you were much hipper than you actually were
OR
a moment of trauma that you feel you can laugh at now
=
1.5 minutes of complete senseless stupid story that makes me lose IQ
Alex: It says here that you owned a 2D bird?
Me: HaHa, yes Alex that is right. When I was a child I had a bird that my mother got me for my birthday. My sister and I were laying on the floor one night watching TV and the bird was walking on her back when we fell asleep. I woke up to my sister screaming and looked at the floor and saw the flattened bird that my sister had apparently slept on.
Alex: I bet that was the last bird your mom bought you.
Me: No doubt, that bird sucked!
2 Comment(s):
I actually tried out for Jeopardy a couple years ago before it went to all online tests/screening. While you're sitting in the hall waiting to go in for your test they have you come up with 5 "interesting things about you" that they use for the interview segments. It's hard to come up with 5 witty anecdotes off the top of your head. I just wrote "I'm a satanist" 5 times. I was not invited to appear on the show.
I just spit water all over the place, I was laughing so hard. This might be the single greatest post EVER.
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