My favorite day of the month at work is when we get the new Highlights Magazine, mainly because I OWN SO HARD at all the games. I am honestly waiting for the world championships to get started on the Hidden Pictures so I can become an instant thousandaire. The one thing that really pisses me off is when I turn to the pages where children send in "poems" and crappy art work.
I was so offended last month by a kid from WV, that I couldn't sit by and do nothing.
First, when have you seen a deer that was 4 shades of crayon vomit. Second, I find one deer using the other deers antlers as "handlebars" while they engage in whatever it is they are doing to be a bit remnant of college costume parties where I wore pigtails something this kid is much to young for.
Third, judging by the antlers on both animals, I find it interesting that this 5 year old used 2 male deer to pose in this manner.
So I did what any concerned adult that was worried about the future of our species would do, I emailed Highlights Magazine to tell them of my concern.
From: Subliminally Incognito
Sent: Tuesday, June 1, 2010
To: eds@highlightscorp.com
Subject: Devil Children
Dear Highlights,
I fear that you are encouraging kids to suck and this makes me sad. I am requesting that you start highlighting (ha ha did you see what I did there) only talented children in the "Your Own Pages" section of your magazine. I hate to think that these kids are getting a false sense of self esteem when you "Publish" their work as if they have made a true piece of art. I would be willing to bet if you went back in your archives you have art work that was published from a young Gary Busey only furthering my point that you are setting up loser children to think they are capable of more than cleaning toilets.Cheers,
Subliminally Incognito
I never got a reply, but I think they heard me based on this months issue. They have now started publishing pictures of talentless children being executed by firing squad.
My job here is done.
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