A Few of My Least Favorite Things

There are some truly horrible things about life that can not be avoided. Some examples are Go-Gurt, Cereal straws, wedgies, Macaulay Culkin, wet socks, bugs crawling in your ear, the fact that the ninjas in the dark don't ever respond to my questions at night, not being able to own a midget, best friends named "Booby the Spaniard", the fact that the princess in Mario Brothers has Stockholm Syndrome and keeps going back to Bowser, Taco Bell serving fish, having one sweaty armpit, working across the hall from someone whose sole diet is corn and milk, being kidnapped and having a picture of you wearing a Muumuu splashed on news channels all over the country, playing the "what's for dinner" game, walking through the cloud of piss smell every morning in the subway, and Carnie Wilson constantly showing up everywhere you go.

All of these things make life almost unbearable, but none of them are as bad as having to walk down a NYC street in the rain. It is not the cars splashing puddles on you that sucks so bad or trying to carry everything while using an umbrella or the getting soaking wet or having to walk over mounds of wet trash..... it is the fact that New Yorkers are not responsible umbrella users. It doesn't help that I am a foot taller than all New Yorkers (seriously, why is everyone so short here), but having to share the sidewalk with 8 million other umbrellas and having the corners of all 8 million of them aim straight for your face in am attempt to impale your eye while they are dumping rivers of water on you sucks. It's hard to say if I would rather eat Go-Gurt but I would definitly take Carnie Wilson stalking me over commuting in the rain any day.