I have a NEW FRIEND. I should start with some back ground story. 5 1/2 years ago I lost a great friend. I have copied the obituary below.
R.I.P.
Friend, confidant, and all around great tiara
You brought happiness to many.
October 31, 2003- Jan. 1, 2005
Friend, confidant, and all around great tiara
You brought happiness to many.
October 31, 2003- Jan. 1, 2005
How Tiara was abandoned when I was trying to figure out where I was, what the guys name was and how to get home the morning of New Year's Day is not as important as talking about the joy he brought me. Tiara made me feel pretty during times of non-prettiness. I would call on Tiara whenever I had to do something less than favorable (i.e. vacuuming, drinking tequila, doing dishes, having sex with French men in red bikinis or cleaning the bathroom), or if I was feeling down it was good to have on Tiara when I walked by a mirror so I could laugh at how stupid I was and I would feel better.
I thought I had fully mourned this loss but I was wrong. Last night I went to a birthday party and stopped to find the perfect gift for the birthday girl. Of course, this meant I headed straight to CVS. As I walked in, I noticed a beam of light in the back of the store. Curious as to what is so important at CVS that it needs a spot light, I made my way to the back of the store to find my old friend. Since I was in a hurry, I mentally noted that I needed to return tomorrow to get myself one and skipped out of the store with the best birthday present of all time.
It was a pretty typical night: met people, drank a lot, caught two people in our party having sex in the bathroom *which I mention for pure fact of the evening because I am in no position to makes judgments on this*, convinced some guy that Iowa doesn't exist, and past out on the train, missing my stop on the way home. But while all the fun was going on I could not stop wondering how severe it would be if I kicked over the birthday girl and took the tiara back.
This morning I woke up smelling of broken dreams and bad decisions. Something had to be done, so I went back to CVS and when I got there I realized I that I had actually given away the last tiara that they had. As I was laying on the ground in fetal position and crying while muttering about how I should have beat up the birthday girl and stolen my gift back, an employee came over and I told her I would die if I didn't get a tiara. She went to the back and looked for me and came back empty handed. She told me to come back Wednesday because "the truck come on Tuesday night". My first thought was "HOLY JESUS.... THEY HAVE A TIARA TRUCK", and my second thought was to ask the lady if she knew where the Tiara Truck delivered on Saturday's. She must have been new because she just looked confused.
I decided I could not give up so I went to the second fanciest store I know. As I went down the escalator at K*Mart, I had a good feeling. I walked around the aisle and there it was, MY NEW TIARA!!!!!!!
I thought I had fully mourned this loss but I was wrong. Last night I went to a birthday party and stopped to find the perfect gift for the birthday girl. Of course, this meant I headed straight to CVS. As I walked in, I noticed a beam of light in the back of the store. Curious as to what is so important at CVS that it needs a spot light, I made my way to the back of the store to find my old friend. Since I was in a hurry, I mentally noted that I needed to return tomorrow to get myself one and skipped out of the store with the best birthday present of all time.
It was a pretty typical night: met people, drank a lot, caught two people in our party having sex in the bathroom *which I mention for pure fact of the evening because I am in no position to makes judgments on this*, convinced some guy that Iowa doesn't exist, and past out on the train, missing my stop on the way home. But while all the fun was going on I could not stop wondering how severe it would be if I kicked over the birthday girl and took the tiara back.
This morning I woke up smelling of broken dreams and bad decisions. Something had to be done, so I went back to CVS and when I got there I realized I that I had actually given away the last tiara that they had. As I was laying on the ground in fetal position and crying while muttering about how I should have beat up the birthday girl and stolen my gift back, an employee came over and I told her I would die if I didn't get a tiara. She went to the back and looked for me and came back empty handed. She told me to come back Wednesday because "the truck come on Tuesday night". My first thought was "HOLY JESUS.... THEY HAVE A TIARA TRUCK", and my second thought was to ask the lady if she knew where the Tiara Truck delivered on Saturday's. She must have been new because she just looked confused.
I decided I could not give up so I went to the second fanciest store I know. As I went down the escalator at K*Mart, I had a good feeling. I walked around the aisle and there it was, MY NEW TIARA!!!!!!!
Welcome to my life!!!
I promise you will never be the victim of a one night stand.
P.S. I love you.
I promise you will never be the victim of a one night stand.
P.S. I love you.
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