First Grade: A Tale of Love, Lust and Girl Crushes

In honor of the 41st anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, I have decided to come clean about my very first girl crush. To this day it is the proverbial chicken/egg question. I am not sure if my first girl crush influenced my "type" as an adult or if I already had a "type" that she fit nicely into at age 5. You decide:

I have always had a thing for people that were too smart for their own good. I tend to gravitate toward the computer geeks of the world. Penny Gadget was one of those girls. Not only did she like books, but her book was actually a laptop!!!! She was able to solve all types of problems by hitting 3 buttons in her book and suddenly her uncle was out of danger. She was even smooth enough to let him take the credit. She also had great style. She sported pigtails, messenger bag, ripped up pants, and a calculator watch.

So now looking back at all the guys I have dated, I can see a piece of Penny in all of them, whether it is their functional watch, dirty ripped jeans, retarded care givers or a dog cool enough to call Brain.

As far as the chicken and the egg, I am going to move forward thinking that Penny is the model for the perfect human being. I only hope she did not grow up to be a fatass living her uncles basement playing Dungeons and Dragons all day and night.